the witching hour

The witching hour... If your a mother of young children, you know what this is. The time of day when you just want to throw up your hands & go hide in a hole. The hour when it all catches up with you. The hour when you feel that you're the biggest failure as a mother because at this very moment you can no longer keep it together. You have been loving on your children since they woke you up, before the sun shows it face! You cuddle, you play, you read, you feed, you love, you discipline, you teach... the list could go on for years. You are juggling your little world, trying to keep little people happy, trying to keep your house together, trying to keep your spouses needs met, and somewhere in there wishing you could get a solid hour all to yourself. The witching hour is when it just all crashes down.

And I know I can't mother my children in my own strength. I know all to well the times my strength fails. I also have a God that is willing to give me the strength to keep going. He can calm storms, but do I let him calm the storm that happens when the daily world falls apart? I am still learning... Sometimes I can feel his peace, and we continue in grace. Sometimes I am so overwhelmed I forget that I can have his peace... Admitting it is admitting that I am not perfect, but if there is one thing motherhood has taught me it is that I am about as far from perfect as they come.

And I look at myself at this moment & I am ok. I've got a lot to learn, I still have a lot of growing up to do... I have a feeling that in another 10 years I'll think that I still have a lot of growing up to do! And so today, I am extending myself the grace God has already given me. I am a good mother because everyday I'm a little better at it! I am a good mother because I love my children more than anything. I am a good mother because we have a lot more good days than bad days! Life is not perfect. Motherhood is what God has given me to help me grow. I wouldn't trade it for the world, not even for an hour of silence.