Have you ever been called to pray a prayer that honestly scared you to death? Have you wrestled with being able to step out and speak the words? Have you waited hoping that you could be called to a different prayer? And yet the same theme keeps popping up. And you know you've been on this journey for awhile, but you just figured out what one exact part of it was & you are so scared of what else this specific part of the journey may entail? Yep, that's where I am. My journey is humility.
Today I was able to pray the prayer that scares the spit out of me. "Lord, teach me to be humble." Yep, that was the exact beginning to my prayer. Lord, I feel you taking me on this journey of humility. Lord, I am afraid to pray this, but I will because I know that this is what you have for me. I know this is what is best for me... Lord, teach me to be humble. Show me what humility is. Even as I pray this I am bawling my eyes out, because I am afraid of what you might have for me, although I know that what you have for me is best. I also know that growing can be painful, but I am your child & I know you love me. I know I cannot be fully surrendered to you if I cannot pray the prayer that you have called me to in this season. So, Lord, I surrender, teach me to be humble.
I don't know why I am sharing this with you, but at the same time I want to be real. I have known for a few weeks that this is what I needed to pray. I have fought it because I don't know how God is going to work in my life. Honestly, I think I have been in the process of being humbled for a couple years now and it's not a fun place to be. But growing is never fun, it's work and it's good work. There is such sweet release when you surrender your will to the one who made you. And there are so many moments of beauty admits the pain. Then the joy of seeing where you were and where God has you now. So, it's a journey I am glad to take because I know the outcome will be beautiful.
I am at peace. It is so amazing the peace that washes over you when you say, "ok, not my will, but yours be done." So, I will leave you with a couple verses that are speaking to me right now...
Micah 6:8 "He has shown you, o man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."
Ephesians 4:2 "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."
