Dare I begin to dream again? Oh, Lord, let your blessings continue to shower down. I say continue because even as we have been in a tough season he has been so faithful to uphold us and carry us through. Our love for each other has never faultered in the face of life's trials and loss. Our faith in the hope that Jesus gives us has been hard fought for. And while we are still right where we were a month ago, 4 years ago, there are some changes on the horizon. Is resoration beginning? I dare to dream, to hope, because that is who I am. I know that God has good things for us and I know that in all this I have laid myself down and accepted that my hope, if in heaven alone, is enough for me. And it still is. I just see the potential of blessings on the horizion, and with my dreamer spirit I cannot help but believe for better things.
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17
There is no doubt of where favor comes from. Only God could bring us through and give us more than we could ask or imagine. I believe that God has good things for us and I held onto that when I saw no good with my eyes and I will always hold onto that. When the world is dark my light comes from Him alone. And when I cannot see his light, I feel it within me. There have been many times that I've had to fight to feel it, to know that he longs to bless us, to give us a future. He never promised an easy life, he told us it's a battle and it is, but when we can no longer fight it, he will fight for us. He will always fight for us, we only need to ask him.
There are more battles to face. Our road is by no means over. But the hope of restoration brings me to my knees with gratitude overflowing. Tears are falling as I write this because I could not be more thankful that my God has not forgotten me. All glory goes to him alone, because our human hands cannot bring the love of Jesus to our world, our home. Thank you, Lord, for restoring hope and a future. You are good, so very good to us.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Sunday, June 2, 2013
It's Really About Service
I have a great marriage. I do not say it lightly or with pride. I say it to state a fact... Do I have a perfect marriage? No, not at all, not even close. I fail daily, I have some things I am working on and I'm not always sunshine & butterflies. That being said, I have a great marriage. I've spent my life observing marriages, more so after I got married as I knew more married people then. I have observed many many couples, some with marriages that I would say are great and some that I would say are not so great and some that I would even say are toxic.
I was wondering to myself this night, why do some people have these just hard marriages. I know details of a lot of them and could tell you their struggles and what they're doing right and what they're doing wrong, but that's not what I'm doing. I'm not calling people out, because I am not qualified to do that and I don't judge, I just observe, mostly because I'm nosey. What I have decided is that the reason I have a great marriage is because I serve my husband. And in return he serves me.
I realized this as I was in the kitchen with my husband this evening with his parents and we were bantering over who was more spoiled. I said, "I have never met a more spoiled husband than you." His reply was the same. Now, in my head I could try to list ways that other women are more spoiled than me, but I realized with the things that counted most to me, it was true, I am a very spoiled wife. I have been constructively criticized before for spoiling my husband and that I do it more than I should. But as I've gotten older I realized, spoiling my man is a good thing. Because I'm not really spoiling him, I am serving him. I am putting his needs before my own wants. I am saying that the health of our marriage directly effects the health of who I am as an individual. And I am saying that he is worth the couple extra minutes to do the little things that make him feel valued and loved and served.
It's funny how society says to take what you can and to look out for yourself, but if you truly want to love and have purpose in life you do just the opposite. Fulfillment is found in service. It's found outside of myself. It's in the every day of raising children and loving my husband. It's in the monotonous tasks that are you never see the end and the only reason you do them is because they need to be done, but honey, that's service.
Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Colossians 3:23
My attitude is the difference. Am I doing this for myself or for my family? You know one of my favorite kinds of people to make dinner for? My hubby's single guy friends! Do I even need to tell you why? They always remind me that what I do matters, that's it's special, important, good... Even if my children or even hubby have ceased to see the novelty of a home cooked meal, they remind me that no, indeed it is a act of service. My attitude is the difference.
I often wonder if people even hear what I have to say. Advice I have to give. I can get frustrated with people's actions, attitudes and disregard. But if somebody doesn't want to listen to what I have to say why should I care? I am not responsible for them, I cannot live their lives for them. I can share what I've learned and it is for them to decide what to do with said knowledge. Maybe I am pretty insignificant to society, but I am not insignificant to my family and that is who I've been put on this earth to serve at this time in my life. And if they are the only people that I touch in this world, then that is enough for me because they are my world. Yes, I know I have touched people outside of my four walls, but this is all to say that I am ok with my four walls being it for me. And I would say that if you want a life of fulfillment, stop looking at yourself and trying to serve yourself, look at the people within your four walls and then as you can extend that service as far as you can.
I was wondering to myself this night, why do some people have these just hard marriages. I know details of a lot of them and could tell you their struggles and what they're doing right and what they're doing wrong, but that's not what I'm doing. I'm not calling people out, because I am not qualified to do that and I don't judge, I just observe, mostly because I'm nosey. What I have decided is that the reason I have a great marriage is because I serve my husband. And in return he serves me.
I realized this as I was in the kitchen with my husband this evening with his parents and we were bantering over who was more spoiled. I said, "I have never met a more spoiled husband than you." His reply was the same. Now, in my head I could try to list ways that other women are more spoiled than me, but I realized with the things that counted most to me, it was true, I am a very spoiled wife. I have been constructively criticized before for spoiling my husband and that I do it more than I should. But as I've gotten older I realized, spoiling my man is a good thing. Because I'm not really spoiling him, I am serving him. I am putting his needs before my own wants. I am saying that the health of our marriage directly effects the health of who I am as an individual. And I am saying that he is worth the couple extra minutes to do the little things that make him feel valued and loved and served.
It's funny how society says to take what you can and to look out for yourself, but if you truly want to love and have purpose in life you do just the opposite. Fulfillment is found in service. It's found outside of myself. It's in the every day of raising children and loving my husband. It's in the monotonous tasks that are you never see the end and the only reason you do them is because they need to be done, but honey, that's service.
Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Colossians 3:23
My attitude is the difference. Am I doing this for myself or for my family? You know one of my favorite kinds of people to make dinner for? My hubby's single guy friends! Do I even need to tell you why? They always remind me that what I do matters, that's it's special, important, good... Even if my children or even hubby have ceased to see the novelty of a home cooked meal, they remind me that no, indeed it is a act of service. My attitude is the difference.
I often wonder if people even hear what I have to say. Advice I have to give. I can get frustrated with people's actions, attitudes and disregard. But if somebody doesn't want to listen to what I have to say why should I care? I am not responsible for them, I cannot live their lives for them. I can share what I've learned and it is for them to decide what to do with said knowledge. Maybe I am pretty insignificant to society, but I am not insignificant to my family and that is who I've been put on this earth to serve at this time in my life. And if they are the only people that I touch in this world, then that is enough for me because they are my world. Yes, I know I have touched people outside of my four walls, but this is all to say that I am ok with my four walls being it for me. And I would say that if you want a life of fulfillment, stop looking at yourself and trying to serve yourself, look at the people within your four walls and then as you can extend that service as far as you can.
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