Beautiful Life

She doesn't have a sister. She is my youngest child, only 2 1/2 years old. And yet she knows how to take care of a baby... She feeds them, reads to them, cuddles them, puts them to sleep and even changes their diapers. She is darling, cute and so 100% girl! She is also one tough cookie. She loves wrestling with her brothers and has no problem stating her opinion despite her limited vocabulary! She is a wonder to watch and challenges me to look at myself all the more, because I am after all the one who has the pleasure of teaching her what it means to be a woman.

Mr. D is the most creative boy I have ever met. He is always building or crafting something. I think he would be the happiest guy in the world if I had somewhere that was his very own space where he had access to all kinds of tapes, scissors, paper, staplers and writing tools. I would love to crawl inside his brain to where he comes up with all these endless ideas. He can be very focused, when he's working on something you might as well be on the other side of the world!
Then there is my four year old treasure. He has the sweetest little heart you will ever see. He is fierce, he feels things deeply, and is very observant. I long ago dubbed him my warrior, nothing will get in this boys way. He has the greatest snuggles and the cutest pair of dimples I have ever seen. He explores life with an excitement that is contagious and a sparkle that brings joy to my soul. You never know what you're going to get with this little follower and leader wrapped all up in one package, he moves to the beat of his own drum!

These are my treasures. These are my children. Peace has been reigning in our home this afternoon and all I want to do is watch my children play. They are content in their chosen activities and as I look at them I feel my heart overflow. When my daughter was born, my oldest was two weeks away from his third birthday. There are so many joys in having children close in age. I remember the first time I reveled in the joy of their closeness of age. My little Miss must have been about a year old and all three of them were playing ring-around-the-rosey and genuinely enjoying themselves. They travel through life together, opening and closing each stage together, experiencing life to it's fullest with a built in best friend.

These little people are amazing. Watching them explore and grow up is a gift. They fill my heart with joy and anticipation. Each year just gets better, I am not sad to see another year or stage pass because where we are is always the best. I love the stage they're in, then I love the next stage even more!!! Life with children is like walking through a masterpiece, and just when you think it couldn't get any better, it does. Sure in the midst of that you have many trials, there are times when I'm just plain burnt out, but sure enough it passes. Just as an author experience writers block, so we have blocks in our life where maybe life doesn't look so amazing, but in those moments all you can do is look back and see the beauty that you've experienced and know that that beauty is present even still. After all, sunrise comes after a dark night and there is no denying the beauty of the sun coming over the mountains, drenching the valleys in rays of beauty. That is what life is, beautiful... While I wrote this all I could think about was a song that I loved when I was a kid...

Thankfulness, Grace & Love

 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

James 1:17

I want my children to be thankful people. I try throughout the year to instill thankfulness in them, I want their praises and thanks to be as normal as breathing... I want them to know that we serve a God who loves us and provides for us. I also want them to see how God provides through people and be grateful to the people who take care of us. 

One of their greatest examples of God's provision is their daddy. My husband goes to work 5 days a week to provide for our family, I stay home and take care of the children. And I am blessed at how appropriate this example of provision through a father is, because it is ultimately our Father God providing for us. Dominic's eyes have began to be opened this year to what a privilege it is to have a parent at home with you. The reason I can be home is because I have a husband who supports that lifestyle for our family, we make a lot of sacrifices to keep me home, but to our family they are more than worth it. 

The privileges of a stay at home mom have been reinforced ever more to me this year with Dominic now in kindergarten. Because I am home with our children and we have a supportive extended family around us, I am available to volunteer in Dominic's classroom once a week, sometimes more if there's something special going on. I remember my first day volunteering, all the kids were so excited to see me, but there were also quite a few that were sad their mothers weren't there, and I was reminded what a privilege it is to have the ability to be there. Once a week I get not just my kids hugs, but a big handful of extras as kids are going out to recess, kids I hardly know that just love having a parent around. I get to help them learn their letters, play games and support their teacher in any way I'm needed and I love it. 

I am so thankful that when I was 19 I met a young man who had the same vision for life that I had. I am thankful that that amazing man fell in love with me, because I feel head over heels for him! I am also so thankful that today we love each other millions of times more than we did when we first got together. It is a privilege to be married and in love with such a solid man of character. It is a blessing to grow up with this man, since we've both done a lot of growing up since we first met and I know we still have a lot of growing up to do! And the only one who I can truly thank for this amazing man is God. I have seen his hand on us all through our lives, even before we knew each other he was there. Growing us into people who were ready to someday meet, fall in love, get married and raise a family together.

My greatest desire is that as my children grow up they too can look at their lives and say, "I can see how God's hand was on me, throughout my childhood and adulthood as well." My job is to teach them how to see that hand, to know the love of the God behind that hand and most importantly have a relationship with the God who created them into such amazing individual people. Recognizing the things God has given you is a good start for little people, they can easily see a new pair of jammies and know it is a gift that they didn't earn. We are God's hands to our children, the practical first step, the ones who have the great privilege and responsibility to point them to their savior.

Just like Shane and I had a lot of growing up to do when we first met, and still do, we have a lot of growing up to do as parents, so much to still learn. Every day is a new challenge or season, a new page in our parenting adventure. We are constantly adjusting and figuring out how to encourage our children in the right direction, to teach them about God and life. And thankfully God is full of grace and he has graciously placed much of that same grace in our children, because we are far from perfect parents. Yet in all our mistakes our children still love us and so does God!

I think it all boils down to the privilege of grace. Grace that we did not earn, that God gave so freely to us. I think this is the year of grace for me, because it is what I keep having brought back to my face. Our God is a gracious God. He doesn't ask us to be perfect, he covers us with his grace, wipes away our imperfection. He loves us so fully and completely. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God" Eph. 2:8

When I look at my life all I can see is God's grace covering it. When I look at every detail I see it all lead back to his loving faithfulness, his provision, his grace. All I can see is how much he loves me and it brings me to my knees in thankfulness. Because he sees my inmost thoughts, knows me in and out and still loves me with the same all encompassing love. All I can hear is this song going through my head over and over, "Oh, how He loves us!!!" And to know my finite brain cannot even begin to encompass the full force of his love for me.