I was not built for this world. I am not responsible for the pain, sorrow, and suffering of this world. I cannot fix all the wrongs. I cannot choose people's attitudes, perspectives and priorities. I am responsible for myself, my own attitude, perspective and priorities. I cannot let empathy rule over my life. I can choose to not drown in the sorrows of the world. I am strong enough because I cling to my savior.
I cling. Like a child who cannot swim would cling to a piling in the ocean as the tide is rising. I cling because if I fall I will drown. I am tired, I am worn out, but I will cling for all my life is worth. I dig deep into my soul because I know that my father is going to come and lift me off the piling. He will encircle his arms around me and I will find rest and safety. But today I cling. Because maybe sometimes we have to show that we believe, that we can dig deep. Sometimes we are given just enough, just enough so we can remember our utter dependence on the one who knows us better than we know ourselves. And when we think we've been clinging on the piling long enough, that it should be our time to thrive, we continue to cling because we know that his timing is perfect. We know he has a purpose, we know he is building something beautiful and we know that indeed we will have a time to thrive.
I am clinging. I know it's not really a fun place to be. It is not where all my dreams come true. But I do believe that I am clinging because he is building something beautiful in me. I know that when I come to a place of rest I will be glad for this time in my life, because at that point I will know that I would not be who I am then if I was not the person that I am now.
As I cling I throw my hands back and surrender to the waters. I float with my hands spread, my hair fanned around me and my body pushed by the tides stronger than I. I am not in control, all I can do is surrender. To fight is only to prolong the process. Surrender is the ultimate clinging, surrender to the one whom I cling to, the one who always rescues me.
