As a parent you're always trying to figure out what works. I would say that our ultimate goal is to raise responsible God fearing people... But what a task. Where do I even start, I mean, obviously I started this task over 5 years ago when my oldest child was born... But I am like every other parent, wondering if I'm doing it right, if I'm going to forever scar my children with my selfish human ways. And to be completely honest, I probably will or have. Because that is after all what I am, human...
The very thing that I am breaks my heart. To know that I have the ability to raise up or push down my children, or anybody for that matter. The weight of that responsibility brings me to my knees. Parenthood opens your eyes all the more to just who and what you are. It challenges me to know my God better because only in his strength can I hope to raise my children up into the men & woman they were designed to be.
My prayer is that as they watch me they will also learn through me. I pray that they will see me struggle, but then see how God brings me through. That they will see me as I grow into a woman of character, because that is what I desire to be. And I pray that they will see me fall, so that they can see the grace that my father in heaven pours out over me. His grace drenches my being, and I hope that I can learn to let that grace overflow into every area of my life. But I have a long ways to go.
As I go along in this motherhood journey I am constantly trying to readjust, to determine what is best. To figure out how to reach and teach my children. There is no road map to motherhood. There is no right or wrong way, the map has to be tailored to each individual child.
What amazes me is that there are so many people in the world and yet no one is alike, down to our smallest details. You will never know another Dominic, Gabriel or Abigail children of Shane and Courtney. They are their very own unique God printed people. And they are as unique as they come, they think differently from all of you, they have different dreams and ideas, and they react differently to a situation than you or I. It's my job as a mother to figure that out. To know them, to help guide them into the amazing people that only they can be. And what is so crazy is that I don't even know what that's going to look like, only God knows.
I know God has entrusted these three children into my care. I know that he sees something in me that my children need that only I can give them. I know he will help me every step of the way, but I still get hung up on the responsibility. But I refuse to parent my children in fear. I know that God has amazing plans for my children, that he will do his work through them. I know that my children will face many hard, immoral situations and I believe that they will overcome them in God's strength. I also know that they will fall, but we will be there to raise them up. Because we serve a God who showers us in grace, and his grace is enough.
