Kittens

We decided a few months ago to get the kids a kitten for Christmas. Then I fell in love with a picture of a cat online, so I called NOAH and they said he was still there. We get the kids together and go on over, and my pretty kitten was gone. Since we were there we decided to look at the other kittens. Shane fell in love with one and Gabe was in love with another, since the second was free we ended up with two.


Now we've been living in a crazy world for the last few days. The kids are crazy about the kittens, but they're still afraid of the kids & the dog. I cannot wait for them to adjust, I would like to go back to normal life. I really like kittens, I think they are fun, but scared kittens are annoying. I don't know if when we had Thumper if he took this long to adjust to our household. Were we calmer or was he just better adjusted because he came from a house & not a shelter?


One way or another, these kittens will adjust as well. And they will be super fun & we will love them a lot. They are babies after all. Dominic was pretty funny when we picked them out because he didn't want a little kitten he wanted a big cat... We told him the kittens would grow up to be big cats, we had to get them little so they wouldn't be afraid of them or Tully, and so now we're waiting for them to adjust, hopefully sooner than later.

Moving onto Decorating

Today my fall decorations were put away. I realized that I have had a glass bowl full of leaves, gourds & pine cones sitting on the table for over a month! That sounds like a small accomplishment, but it's soo not!!! Do you know what this means for me? This means that I can officially begin decorating my house again! It means that little hands have left my things alone! It means that I can begin wandering out of this forest of baby-proofing...

When we had Dominic I thought to myself, "I will never baby proof my house." Yeah, my child was going to leave my things alone & never get into anything that wasn't his. He was going to be a perfect little angel. Wow! I so hadn't met my child yet!!! Dominic was and is all boy! He started crawling at 5 months & by the time he was 6 months he was pulling himself up & climbing on anything on the floor. And this angel kid of mine, oh he didn't just touch my stuff, he made it his personal mission to get into any & everything that could make a mess or break! Add to this that when he was 7 months old I found out we were pregnant with Gabriel & was sicker than a dog... So, we baby-proofed, but baby proofing in our house was taken to the next level, because we didn't have to baby proof for any baby we had to do it for Dominic. And even at 7 months old that kid was just too smart & he certainly hadn't learned how to productively use those smarts!

Now as I packed away those fall decorations I realized that we have closed another chapter in our lives. We can now leave some things out & not have to worry about them being destroyed. The kids still make a lot of messes & there are things that we still won't leave out, but this is a step in the right direction. We are gaining in self-control! This means that the poinsettia's Shane got me can stay on the table & they will be left alone. This means that when he buys my flowers for our anniversary I can leave them on the table, right smack in the middle, where we can all enjoy them, where they belong. And no, I will not miss the days of spices dumped all over the counter, books constantly pulled off shelves & diaper cream used as moisturizers in the hair! No, I won't miss that & I have pictures to remind me of the beautiful faces discovering the world, and pictures are much cleaner than the actual time in life! Although, we do still hide wipes, they're just irresistible!

Faith & Thanksgiving

I've been trying to think over the last month, what am I really thankful for. I am thankful for many things, especially the obvious! So, lets get deeper. What does it boil down to?

I figured it out, as I was cleaning my kitchen at midnight... Faith. I am most thankful for faith. I have had many times in my life where I could have looked around & given up. I have had many loses, disappointments & hurts. But in it all I have never lost faith. I have had moments that I've been sad, mad, hysterical, and not understood & even questioned the emphasis why? But in all of that I have never questioned if my God was faithful. I think the Lord gave me the greatest blessing in giving me an unwavering faith. I do not say that lightly, and I know in saying that I'm sure to have many more times of having that very faith tested, but I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that my God is faithful.

I think that faith is what has brought be through so much. It's that faith that despite all the trials we have gone through in the last few years, I can look and see that my marriage has only gotten stronger. Where many people would turn on their spouses we have grown to love & appreciate each other more. It's my faith that has kept me dependent on my Lord instead of the people & things of this world. I am no saint and an always growing in this area, made a lot of mistakes, don't get me wrong! If you want examples or want to know, feel free to ask, I'm not afraid to share!

I don't know how I got this gift of faith. I believe it was given to me by God, because it doesn't make sense to me how in so many storms I have never wavered. I know throughout my life I have prayed for child-like faith, it's something that has always stood out to be from the time I was little in Sunday school. Maybe because I was a child... When I had my first child, Dominic, I had my first real real illustration of this child-like faith. Dominic was about a year old and he's climbing the stairs, playing, he turns around doesn't even stop to see if I'm watching him & jumps. He jumps & I caught him. He didn't question if his mama was gonna catch him, he just jumped. He knew I would, because well, when hadn't I caught him? He knows I love him & that I won't let him fall. And that is what child-like faith is. It's jumping without questioning if God is going to catch you...

No, life isn't going to be easy. You are going to fall down, sometimes you have to fall a little to learn that maybe you shouldn't hop down the stairs on one foot. Does that mean that your father isn't catching you? No, it means he's letting you see what your limits are, so you can learn that maybe jumping down the stairs on one foot isn't such a good idea. He told you, but you just had to see for yourself. So now you have a little bruise, your daddy gives  you a hug, wipes away your tears & tells you that it's going to be alright.

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for the gift of faith. Because I know that even when I fall, He will pick me up, wipe away my tears & tell me He loves me and that everything will be alright.

cats & dogs

I got to go to preschool today! I love going to preschool, because it's this magical world where my boy is super happy & well behaved & I didn't have to do a thing to get him that way! I get to watch him play with his friends, learn, do crafts & charm his teachers. I also got to see him use his magic line on one of his girlfriends, "Katie, your hair is really pretty." Guess mama isn't the only one with pretty hair, little stinker, gonna have to watch that kid!

So, today I got to watch imaginations at their best. I saw a bunch of cats & dogs. I've been hearing about them from his teachers. They say they always have cats & dogs, sometimes it gets out of control, but this is where I add to my 101 reasons I love having my son in the afternoon class. The afternoon class is smaller, only 11 kids, and they are a little calmer too! I watched as Dominic transformed into a very realistic cat, if he didn't look like a person I would have been fooled. A couple of his little friends took care of him as he meowed & was pet & fed. The imagination is a powerful thing & I am so glad that my son uses his to explore life, real & unreal. I will welcome the cats & dogs in our home any day. An imaginative world is a safe place to learn, explore & play. I am so glad that Dominic can enjoy the simple pleasures found in sharing a different world with his friends, even if it's all pretend! Who wouldn't love to be a cat for the day?

My Kitchen

My kitchen in my place of refuge in my home. It's where I make our meals & think. With 3 young kids it's also been the place of great interest to the munchkins. I remember Dominic dancing on the dishwasher (don't let your children do this, it will break your dishwasher!!!) then pulling everything out of the drawers & cabinets... Later he would learn how to climb on the counter & dump all my spices. I think that that is when my kitchen became the place where I dreaded having my children. I fight to keep them out. I know they love "helping" mama, but with all three of them wanting to help I have just thrown up my hands and chased them out.

Now, I am trying to figure out how to let them back in. Dominic is now 4 1/2 and is really a good helper, Gabe probably wouldn't be so bad himself. I know I loved cooking with my mama when I was little. So, this afternoon I looked around & saw that Abigail & Gabriel were sleeping & Dominic was just quietly hanging out. I thought to myself, here is my perfect opportunity. I took a deep breath and asked, "Dominic, do you want to help me clean up the kitchen?" He was up & there in less than a second.

It's what proceeded during this time that amazed me. I set him up with the scrubber & gave him a pot to wash. That boy washed it so well, and with the best attitude I have seen all day, and today has been a good day! He washed everything! And while he's washing he says, "I am the best washer! Look how fast I wash this." There were a couple pots with hard to get stuff, so I showed him how to get it, he says, "you can't hide from me, food! I'm gonna wash you so good! scrub, scrub!!!" He cleaned our kitchen with such joy and his joy is washing over me as I watch the little man at work. When he was done washing I told him to wipe up the floor, he did it no problem, then he even swept it! He didn't do a very good job sweeping, but listening to him, "food, you can't hide from me! I'm going to get you all!" will stick with me forever.


So, yeah, the kitchen has been my sanctuary. But after watching my little man I realize it's a much better sanctuary with him as a part. He blessed my like crazy with his silly antics, his determination to do a good job & his joy in the process. I still don't know how I'm gonna let the other two in, but today there was hope. Hope that it can be a place that I can share & find joy in the sharing. I think the real trick is that they just have to be a little older, I still don't think I can let my mini me in & have the experience that I did today with Dominic... But in a couple more years, oh I am so excited to see what elements of joy she will bring to this scared place!

the witching hour

The witching hour... If your a mother of young children, you know what this is. The time of day when you just want to throw up your hands & go hide in a hole. The hour when it all catches up with you. The hour when you feel that you're the biggest failure as a mother because at this very moment you can no longer keep it together. You have been loving on your children since they woke you up, before the sun shows it face! You cuddle, you play, you read, you feed, you love, you discipline, you teach... the list could go on for years. You are juggling your little world, trying to keep little people happy, trying to keep your house together, trying to keep your spouses needs met, and somewhere in there wishing you could get a solid hour all to yourself. The witching hour is when it just all crashes down.

And I know I can't mother my children in my own strength. I know all to well the times my strength fails. I also have a God that is willing to give me the strength to keep going. He can calm storms, but do I let him calm the storm that happens when the daily world falls apart? I am still learning... Sometimes I can feel his peace, and we continue in grace. Sometimes I am so overwhelmed I forget that I can have his peace... Admitting it is admitting that I am not perfect, but if there is one thing motherhood has taught me it is that I am about as far from perfect as they come.

And I look at myself at this moment & I am ok. I've got a lot to learn, I still have a lot of growing up to do... I have a feeling that in another 10 years I'll think that I still have a lot of growing up to do! And so today, I am extending myself the grace God has already given me. I am a good mother because everyday I'm a little better at it! I am a good mother because I love my children more than anything. I am a good mother because we have a lot more good days than bad days! Life is not perfect. Motherhood is what God has given me to help me grow. I wouldn't trade it for the world, not even for an hour of silence.

For My Dad

Though our time was short
The benefit of your love 
I did reap

You built a foundation 
That made me strong
Your love runs deep

You showed me a home
Filled with love & joy
Your love runs deep

Now I am grown
With children of my own
Your love runs deep

They bounce & play
And I build away
Your love runs deep

Someday they too will be grown
With children of their own
Your love still runs deep

For this Mama's heart knows
That even when you're gone
Your love runs deep

My Blog?

I have grown up writing in a journal from the time I was 8. Fast forward 14 years and I still write in my journal, just not nearly as often. Somewhere between piles of laundry and messes spilled on the floor and children being cuddled my "writing" gets put on the back burner. But writing helps me stay calm, deal with disappointments, think through problems, and remember the good things. So, why not start a blog? My facebook posts just seem to be getting longer & longer, so here I can say what I want. If you want to know what's going on in my head here it is! And I will now get the joy of watching myself grow as a friend, mother, wife, person. It's my own little thought box!