An Artist?

Am I an artist? Is it possible that I am just an artist that has refused to ever admit that that alone is my calling? Is written word considered an art? Not that my writing is amazing, but is it possible that it's a gift that never has been fully explored. That the feelings of inadequacy and doubt have quenched what could have been a beautiful thing. There are so many people so much more talented than me in so many different areas, and people that are defiantly artists! But where I struggle to say what I mean in voice I can put to perfect sense on paper. I will get an idea in my head and cannot rest until the words have been put to it, or in some cases the project completed. I can be a dog with a bone and yet other times I can be completely uninspired. Are these just the woes a girl who has never admitted what she is, or hidden from it.

I grew up writing in my journal everyday... Sometimes multiple times a day. I fantasized and wrote little stories, I can describe a scene that would bring you to tears and enjoy it so thoroughly, although I think the only person I've ever shared that with is my mama!!! I can completely lose myself in a scene. Many times I feel awkward with the inability to fully express myself. My feelings are easily hurt, yet I hide it so well. I am like a rock that if you puncture it you would be amazed that it's actually soft inside, but I'm not really one to invite you in. Like I fight to be & know who I am. Yet I can share here, my craziest thoughts and am ok with it.

I am 27 years old and I can fight to figure out who I am, silly right? Normal, probably. Yeah, I don't feel extraordinary. I'm just me, I define myself as a wife, mother & friend. Maybe there is more to me... It may all sound like silly ramblings, but why else would I wake up at 4am and have to write in order to go to sleep again. My brain is the one thing that has always kept me up at night, grrrr. So, I guess maybe I'm still figuring out who I am and where I fit. But if I'm an artist, than maybe some more the pieces make a little more sense... Or maybe the title just doesn't fit.