I love and cherish my role as wife. I believe that as wives we are called to love our husbands, and that that love should be second only to our love for God. I play an important role in my husbands life. I am his friend, his playmate, his encourager, his helper, his lover... The list could go on, but what you need to know is that this is a blessed role and influential role.
Your relationship with your husband is the most intimate relationship you have. It needs to be a safe place for both of you to grow, to change, to hide away from the world. Nobody else in the world has the power to build me up as much as my husband, and nobody else has the power to rip me to little shreds. In turn I have that same influence. I chose to share my most intimate self with him because I love and trust and respect him and know that he will not harm me with my vulnerability.
I choose to serve my husband however I can. I'm not talking slave, seriously, do you know me!!! But I do choose to try to put his needs above my own. I make this choice out of the love in my heart & desire to please him. I obviously fail often at this too, because I am selfish human being, but this is what I try to focus on.
In the bible women are called to respect their husbands, but likewise husbands are called to love their wives. We had a discussion once where I asked him, "they say that men crave respect & women love. What do you think of this? Do you crave respect more than love?" Shane replied that the two are mutually entangled. That if you love someone you will respect them. They are not two separate things, they are in fact two complimenting things. If you truly have one than you will have the other as well. Obviously, I am no expert, but this is our experience and it rings true.
I strive to make our home a place of retreat, comfort and love. Notice as much as I would like to say quiet & peace I have found I cannot daily achieve this with 3 silly kids!!! But a safe place to come home, and know that however crappy your day was that you are appreciated, loved and believed in, I can do that. I chose this man for that very reason, he is the best for me, and I want him to know that our home is a shelter from the world, not just for him, but for our children and myself as well. It is not a place to attack each other, it's not a place where we are told we are not good enough, it is a place of love, acceptance and laughter.
We extend each other grace. I am not perfect, I make mistakes, I don't get everything I set out to do done. I forget things, sometimes important things, like milk!!! But in all my mistakes, disappointments and times of pure ugliness I have never been made to feel less than. My husband has easily extended me the grace that I need so very much and I try so hard to extend that same grace back to him. We are in this marriage together, we love each other deeply and are wholly invested in a beautiful future together. There is no other choice for us, our lives were meant to be lived together, we were destined to grow up together and God put us together to challenge, mature and love each other and those around us. In all our human imperfection!!!
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